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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28866393">Your Light (It Even Shines Through Rejections)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tae2Junnies/pseuds/Tae2Junnies'>Tae2Junnies</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>ITZY (Band), TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Breaking Up &amp; Making Up, But Also Making Up, Eventual Fluff, Fights, Hurt/Comfort, Itzy Is The Best Support System Yeonjun Could Ask For, Kissing, M/M, Mention Of Homophobia, Misunderstandings, Multi, Post-Break Up, Public Confrontation, Siblings Choi Yeonjun &amp; Shin Ryujin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 06:08:05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,025</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28866393</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tae2Junnies/pseuds/Tae2Junnies</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Kai broke the silence by clearing his throat, “Everyone, that’s my friend Taehyun.” He nudged at said boy who awkwardly muttered a ‘Hello’, sensing the tension that filled the room.<br/>Kai proceeded though, “And those are his friends—”</p><p>“Yeonjun hyung?”</p><p> </p><p>Soobin and Beomgyu hadn’t changed all that much in the span of two years.<br/>One might have grown taller. The other one’s hair were colored lighter.</p><p>They still had those look for guilt and anguish that morphed on their faces as soon as their looks had crossed, just like that faithful day two years ago.</p><p>Yeah. Not a lot had changed.</p><p>Yeonjun’s heart though? He was beating out of his chest louder than he had ever done before. </p><p>Or:<br/>Yeonjun spent two years of his life trying to get over his break up.  It was to the point that barely went out because he was scared to get hurt.<br/>So, why, oh did he find himself in this situation the one time he decided to make an exception?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Choi Beomgyu/Choi Soobin, Choi Beomgyu/Choi Soobin/Choi Yeonjun, Choi Beomgyu/Choi Yeonjun, Choi Soobin/Choi Yeonjun, Huening Kai/Kang Taehyun</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>48</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Your Light (It Even Shines Through Rejections)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hi lovelies!!<br/>I hope you're all okay :3<br/>I'm fine, myself! HAPPY NEW YEARS! HAPPY JAPANESE COMEBACK (YJ killed me)</p><p>So... This is my first Poly fic. I know that my regular readers are used to other ships but I'd love if you trusted me on this.</p><p>I hope I'm doing poly relationships justice. It'll be more explored in the second chapter but still,,,</p><p>ANywaysss I hope you enjoy this (short omg) first part</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Yeonjun didn’t understand why Kai was always so insistent and so set to have him go out with him. He loved the younger but the more their friendship developed, the more Yeonjun could see that he definitely had no handle on what “no, thanks” meant.</p><p>That or he simply didn’t care.</p><p>Still, Yeonjun sighed and looked at the younger sternly to repeat, “No, thanks.”</p><p>“Hyung!” Kai whined in his almost nasal voice, “You said that would agree to do this with me.”</p><p>“I said that I would agree to have lunch with you this week. Not that I would go to the library with you.” Yeonjun deadpanned as he tried to focus back on his knitting sticks. Knitting was his newfound hobby and call him old fashion, but he really didn’t understand the bad rep that the activity had. Call it boring all you want, Yeonjun had a blast doing it.</p><p>Kai failed to understand that, though, “See, I don’t get why you’re talking about the library with so much disdain. It’s not like your afternoon would be more interesting than that.” He pointed at Yeonjun. The older rolled his eyes and rested his start of a scarf on his lap.</p><p>“You say this now, but you’ll be glad once this scarf I’m knitting you is done, and you avoid catching a cold from how warm it is.” Yeonjun answered and chuckled at the stern look that Kai threw him, in the same fashion as the one he had given him just moments ago.</p><p>“Oh, <em>darn</em>. How giddy I am to receive this <em>amazing gift.”</em> Kai said, sarcasm dripping in each word.</p><p>“Keep going and you won’t get anything. And then what will you do, huh? Catch a flu, that’s what.”</p><p>Yeonjun lowered his gaze back to his work, purposefully avoiding Kai’s desperate expression.</p><p>“What do you want to do there, anyways? Finals week is done. I literally see no point going to a library other than to study.” He almost shuddered at the thought of reading something that wasn’t rudimentary.</p><p> Kai huffed, “I have books to give back before I pay the late fee, hyung.”</p><p>“And you need me for…?”</p><p>“Just because like you said, finals are over! Let’s forget the fact that you’re literally knitting on your vacation week, we should be out there celebrating!”</p><p>“And going to the library is a form of celebration how?”</p><p>“Not the library! I mean— Ugh!” Kai was almost choking on his words and Yeonjun wasn’t doing everything not to laugh at how frustrated he looked.</p><p>After a few seconds taken to settle himself down before he murdered Yeonjun Kai exhaled a “Hyung. All I’m saying is that you should enjoy your life to the fullest. It— It’s long overdue.” Kai muttered the last part but Yeonjun heard him clearly.</p><p> </p><p>Yeonjun knew that the younger was being so pushy about him going out because if it weren’t for it, Yeonjun would barely even exit his apartment. Why would he, though? Yeonjun had invested in the decoration of his apartment to make it the perfect and coziest safe place. He loved his plants, hundreds throw pillows and fuzzy blankets. He adored his fox shaped humidifier and small frames of sceneries that were hung all around the small but cozy place. It was his cocoon of warmth and although he understood that him barely going out could be worrying but it was still <em>his</em> cocoon.</p><p>No one could hurt him in his cocoon.</p><p>(No one could abandon him in there.)</p><p>On that last thought he cut Kai before the younger could argue more, “It’s not because I don’t go out that I don’t enjoy myself. Have you considered the fact that I don’t have the same definition of fun as you <em>muggles</em> do?”</p><p>“See, I would believe you if it wasn’t for the very the various stories of what kind of party animals you used to be.” Kai shook his head before pouting a little, “I just arrived this year and I never went to a party with you hyung. I never even seen you dance when I know that you’re amazing.”</p><p>Okay, now Kai was just trying to make him feel guilty, reviving old memories he tried o forget.</p><p>Yes, he used to be… more social. And he did dance a lot before. For fun mostly, but well enough to build a reputation strong enough for Kai to know about without Yeonjun actually telling him about it. Their college grapevine could be powerful.</p><p>That’s also why Kai knew why Yeonjun had resigned from his social butterfly status. Actually, the younger knew even better than anyone else, since Yeonjun had told him the truth as to why he was the way he was today. He hadn’t even talked about it with his own sister.</p><p>(It had happened during a moment of vulnerability and they had never mentioned it afterwards. Yeonjun was grateful for it.)</p><p> </p><p>“You don’t need to actually see me dance. There are enough videos of it on people’s SNS, Kai. Besides I’m fine here in my cocoon.”</p><p>“Not the stupid <em>cocoon</em>!” Kai whined more and wow, was that boy relentless.</p><p>“<em>Yes</em>, the cocoon,” Yeonjun scoffed, ignoring the jab at his pride of an apartment, “Now, I won’t budge, so just ask someone else. Why don’t you ask your new little friend? What was his name again?”</p><p>“You know it, hyung.” Kai whined at the reminder of Taehyun. That was always his reaction every time that Yeonjun mentioned him, which tell more about how Kai felt that any half-assed excuse the younger sputtered when Yeonjun would mention the word ‘crush’ to qualify him. “I can’t ask him, though. He’s busy fetching his friends from the airport.” The younger explained and Yeonjun laughed at the small sulking expression that Kai failed to hide.</p><p>“Well, that’s too bad, sweetie.” Yeonjun sighed dramatically. “I’m still not going though.”</p><p>Kai groaned loudly and raised his hands in the air, “Fine! Be like that! I’ll get some boba alone and I won’t fetch you any!” the younger stuck out his tongue childishly as he picked up his gym bag before dramatically exit the apartment, not without huffing at Yeonjun’s playful “Bye, sweetie!”</p><p>Originally, the younger was coming back from the gym but had passed by to see how Yeonjun was doing – and scold him about his lazy and homebody ways - because they hadn’t seen each other <em>two whole days</em>.</p><p>Although that might seem like little, it was a testimony of how close they were. Yeonjun was extremely grateful for Kai’s friendship because if it weren’t for him, he would barely have any social contact out of his sister, her friends, and the rest of his family.</p><p>Speaking of sister, he felt his phone buzz in his sweatpants’ left pocket and Yeonjun just knew that it was Ryujin. No one else than Kai and her texted him after all.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>From: Ryu </strong>
  <strong>✨</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Hey bro</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>What are u up to?</strong>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>To: Ryu </strong>
  <strong>✨</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Hey sis</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>… Nothing</strong>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>From: Ryu </strong>
  <strong>✨</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>… Are u knitting again?</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Mom should’ve never given you that “fun activities to do at home book”</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Dad and I had warned her about it, but did she listen? Nope</strong>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>To: Ryu </strong>
  <strong>✨</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>She CARES about me </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>You should learn from her</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>All you do is nagging me</strong>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>From: Ryu </strong>
  <strong>✨</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>I nag you because I care about you, you buffoon</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Now, do you have anything planned on Saturday</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>(asking that as if everyone and their mom didn’t already know the answer lmao)</strong>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>To: Ryu</strong>
  <strong>✨</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>FU Ryu</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>And I don’t want to go out</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>I like staying in the cocoon</strong>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>From Ryu </strong>
  <strong>✨</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>NOT THE COCOON </strong>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>To: Ryu </strong>
  <strong>✨</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>… Have you talked to Kai?</strong>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>From: Ryu </strong>
  <strong>✨</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Why do you think I’m talking to you rn babe</strong>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>To: Ryu </strong>
  <strong>✨</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Wow</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Kai’s quick, huh</strong>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>From: Ryu </strong>
  <strong>✨</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>You have to stop letting the past from controlling your present </strong>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>To: Ryu </strong>
  <strong>✨</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Wow</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Look at you being all philosophical on a Thursday afternoon</strong>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>From: Ryu </strong>
  <strong>✨</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>It’s been two years Junnie…</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>I know that its hard babe but it’s time to move on</strong>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>To: Ryu </strong>
  <strong>✨</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Ryu </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>I just want to knit and watch Friends in peace</strong>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>From: Ryu </strong>
  <strong>✨</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>But Jun, you’ve been doing this for two years</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>You deserve more than this babe</strong>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>To: Ryu </strong>
  <strong>✨</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Its not a matter of deserving</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>I like my life like this</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>I know its not ideal, but I’m satisfied</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>I do things at my own pace and im happy like that</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Just let me be happy like this </strong>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>From: Ryu </strong>
  <strong>✨</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>… Alright Junnie </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>If you say you’re happy I won’t get in the way of that</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>But please go to my chill night at the apartment on Saturday?</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>It’ll be just you me and the girls, and Kai also if u want </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>We won’t be more than 10 ppl </strong>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>To: Ryu </strong>
  <strong>✨</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>…. Okay I’ll come</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>But only bc I miss them! Not you </strong>
  <strong>😊</strong>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>From: Ryu </strong>
  <strong>✨</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>yayyy</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>They’ll be happy to know that </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Oh and FU </strong>
  <strong>😊</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Okay I have to go!</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Go back to your knitting </strong>
</p><p> </p><p>Yeonjun sighed and put his phone away begrudgingly. Kai was going to have his head for agreeing so easily to a whole night out when he refused to go to the library with him. He’d have to invite him to make it up for it.</p><p>Yeonjun looked for the younger’s contact on the “Favorite” icon on his cellphone app. He froze at the sight of the two other numbers that were right under Kai and Ryujin’s. the numbers he couldn’t seem to delete after everything had went down.</p><p>The numbers behind the source of what was certainly the worst years of his life, all of his trust issues, and his reluctance to create any kind of bond that was beyond friendship with anyone.</p><p>He bit his lip before sighing, trying to evacuate every dark thought that invaded his mind before clicking on Kai’s contact name.</p><p>Focus on the present, Ryujin had said.</p><p>
  <em>Focus on the present, he would. </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>✜ ✜ ✜</strong>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Yeonjun fidgeted before his sister’s apartment. He had been there for five long minutes now, a little nervous. He didn’t really have any reason to be nervous really, but still.</p><p>If anyone knew how to make hum feel comfortable, it was Ryujin and her friends. Yeonjun had known half of them since he was young, and the other half were to Ryujin what Kai was to Yeonjun. A new but <em>so</em> <em>welcomed</em> addition to her life. Yeonjun could only love them.</p><p>The issue was actually solely Yeonjun and how he had gotten used to be alone or only with few people at a time. Ten people now seemed like a lot to handle to him, when it was less than the average amount of people that he was able to hang out with few years ago.</p><p>Things were different now.</p><p>When he was about to make a short but convincing list of why he should just live the building with a small apology text to his sister and Kai, the front door opened.</p><p>“Oh! Jun oppa, you’re here!”</p><p>It was Chaeryeong who welcomed him so warmly that Yeonjun momentarily forgot why he wanted to leave. He couldn’t leave now that she had seen her anyways.</p><p>“Yes… Hi, Chae.” he said way too awkwardly for someone who was talking to a childhood, sister-like, friend. Chaeryeong, ever the sweetheart she was, wasn’t fazed at all, though.</p><p>“I’m so happy you were able to come,” She smiled as she opened the door wider to juggle with the doorknob of the front door. Ryujin and Yuna’s apartment was quite spacious and well-furnished but it didn’t change the fact that it had small lasting issues. The doorknob was the main ones. More than once Ryujin would call Yeonjun to help her get out of her apartment because she was locked inside. His sister could be the most prideful person though, which explained why she always refused to call a locksmith to fix it once and for all, no matter how much Yuna would whine for it.</p><p>Once she was done juggling it in the optimal position for it not to lock definitely, she looked up to him with a fond smile and took his wrist to pull him inside the warm apartment.</p><p>“I missed you, oppa.” She said genuinely and Yeonjun nodded gratefully muttering a “Me too.” And gosh, why was he so awkward with people? With them of all people?</p><p>Chaeryeong must’ve noticed how he was beating himself up internally for that small exchange because she squeezed his wrist again to tell him, “I know it’s been quite some time, but remember that we’ll all take things at your pace, oppa. So, don’t worry too much.”</p><p>And truthful to her words, the night was going well for Yeonjun. He had forgotten that those girls weren’t any girls. They were like his family for most and made him extremely comfortable, really fast.</p><p>Ryujin had welcomed him with a punch in the arm followed by a tight hug. Right after that the rest of the girls had greeted him warmly, still making sure that attention wasn’t on him for too long because they knew that it made him uncomfortable, to be in the spotlight like this. Lia and Chaeryeong were talking to him lowly, sharing stories with him while Yeji, Yuna and Ryujin were picking what food they were going to order.</p><p> </p><p>“So, did you make up with him now?” Chaeryeong asked after Lia finished explaining how she was silence-treating her boyfriend. Lia shook her head with a small pout and Chaeryeong cooed at the sight while Yeonjun smiled at her in sympathy.</p><p>“We’re both too stubborn on the matter to face this issue so easily.” Lia said and oh, how Yeonjun understood that. He had to deal with similar issues for two years straight. Not that he wanted to think about them.</p><p>Chaeryeong nodded, “I see. Well, knowing you and Jeno, you’ll patch things up quickly enough. The fight wasn’t even that important, right?</p><p>“He never wants to clean up after his two cats no matter how many times I ask him to do so! And now he wants to adopt another one? He’s <em>allergic</em> to cats, you know. <em>I</em> have to remind him to take his pills for his allergies.” Lia said aggravatedly.</p><p>“… Yeah, so if it’s only about cleaning shouldn’t be too big of a deal. I’m sure a last cat would make him more responsible.” Chae said, sounding herself unconvinced by her words.</p><p>Lia whined, “I already told you! It’s not a matter of cleaning anymore. Like, I love him, I really do but <em>dang</em>, he’s stubborn! Why can’t he just do what I ask of him just for once?</p><p> </p><p>Yeonjun decided to break his usual silence to answer, “Well, relationships are about compromise, Lia.” The two girls watched him in surprise, and he ignored their stare, “What I mean is that you can’t expect him to settle down with all of your demands. Didn’t he agree to participate to those flower language classes to help your family’s flower shop marketing strategy, when even <em>you</em> said that he couldn’t care less about it in general?”</p><p>Lia’s surprise was replaced by a small, silent pout and Yeonjun grinned at her. Lia was also Ryujin’s childhood friend, making her one of the few people to know Yeonjun by heart, enough for him to consider her like his baby sister, along with Chaeryeong. That’s how he knew that her silence meant that she knew he was right.</p><p>“Damn. I forgot that you were so good to give relationship advices, Junnie oppa.” Chaeryeong chuckled as she held a sulking Lia close to comfort her.</p><p>“Yeah…” Yeonjun said awkwardly, “If only I could follow them, huh?”</p><p>Chaeryeong and Lia’s expression immediately cleared to give him sad smile before looking at each other furtively and silently agree to sit on each side of Yeonjun and take him in a cuddle session that Yeonjun pretended to whine over.</p><p> He liked the attention, though. He rarely received any since what had happened. Going from so much to… nothing – even though, granted, it was mainly his fault for not wanting to get closer to anyone now – it was hard most of time. Especially because he’ll never admit it, he loved to be taken care of as much as he loved taking care of people.</p><p>(Memories resurfaced briefly.</p><p>Of fallen blankets being re-placed properly on his half-asleep form on the couch after cramming sessions.</p><p>Of him tying shoelaces just because he could, receiving fond and so sweet grateful looks.)</p><p>“You guys are cuddling without us?” Yeji scoffed at the three huddled figures, “I knew you two would betray me but you, Chae?” Yeonjun chuckled at Lia’s affronted ‘Hey!’.</p><p>“We’re done ordering anyways,” Ryujin chuckled and spoke loud before Lia and Yeji kept going, “So I figured we’d just watch a movie the time that the food arrives. Kai texted me and said he wouldn’t be there with his friends before an hour and a half. They’re eating out apparently.”</p><p>Yuna hummed as she sat next to Lia, while Yeji sat next to Chaeryeong, adding to the hug pile while Ryujin looked at them sternly. Yeonjun preened at the warmth of being surrounded by all those sweet and comforting presences, some reminding him of his childhood. At this moment he understood the appeal of being friends with girls.</p><p>“Kai has friends other than you?” Yuna asked playfully to Yeonjun who laughed. Yuna and Kai barely knew each other but somehow, they had the worst Tom and Jerry kind of relationship that Yeonjun had ever seen. It was always funny for everyone since it was all playful.</p><p>“It’s more of a crush, from what I understood,” Ryujin explained as she picked up the remote control on the coffee table. She then settled down on the pillows, huddling in between Yeonjun and Chaeryeong’s legs. “The guy in question has some friends over so they’ll have lunch all together before coming here.”</p><p>“Why didn’t you go with them, oppa?” Yeji asked from the side of the cuddle pile. Yeonjun hummed, half-focused on Ryujin swiping through the movies selection to find something to watch.</p><p>“Hum… Didn’t feel like it, I gu—"</p><p>“I’ll tell you why.” Ryujin said as she turned to the pile, cutting her brother, “This guy right here avoids social interactions like the plague. Him being here is a wonder in itself.”</p><p>“Ryu, stop,” Yeonjun whined. He wasn’t here to be accused on something like that. He was here, wasn’t he?</p><p>“You know I’m right, Junnie.”</p><p>“The difference between being here and Kai’s dinner – that I wasn’t even aware of, by the way – is that I know you girls. I know that I’m comfortable with all of you in groups and alone. Sorry if it seems like it isn’t the case sometimes…” He muttered the last part apologetically. The girls cooed and gave him various answer of reassurance, cuddling him closer and once again Yeonjun preened under the attention.</p><p>Ryujin, though, narrowed her eyes.</p><p>“It’s not just that. I know you, Choi Yeonjun. I know your half-truth face.”</p><p>Yeonjun held her stare but she didn’t budge. Eventually he groaned and relented.</p><p>“<em>Fine</em>. So maybe I don’t want to socialize more than necessary. So <em>maybe</em> I don’t like to have unnecessary relationship. But it’s only because I’m all for quality over quantity!”</p><p>Ryujin scoffed and answered far seriously than the tone of the discussion so far, “Oh, please! Who are you kidding here? We all know why you’re like this Jun.”</p><p>Yeonjun froze at the accusation.</p><p>He cleared his throat after a short but heavy silence, “I don’t want to talk about it.”</p><p>“You haven’t wanted to talk about it for the last two years, oppa. <em>We</em> still don’t know what happened.” Lia said hesitantly, sharing glances with the others who just nodded in affirmation.</p><p>Yeonjun frowned, sitting up to shrug off Chaeryeong and Lia’s frames, forcing everyone else to sit normally. He hated the tone that the atmosphere had taken but he hated even more the idea of talking about it. It just hurt.</p><p>“You— You can’t force me to talk about it.” He pressed in frustration.</p><p>“No, we can’t but keeping everything inside is really harmful.” Chaeryeong reminded softly to what the girls all nodded again.</p><p>“I’m <em>fine</em>, girls.” Yeonjun sighed and Ryujin immediately scoffed in response making Yeonjun glare at her. “I’m getting better.”</p><p> </p><p>“You’d get better faster if you talked about it to someone. Not even necessarily to us if you don’t feel comfortable—”</p><p>Yeonjun quickly defended. “I do feel comfortable with you—”</p><p>“We <em>know</em> that we’re not the problem. We know that you think that never talking about it might erase all the memories and help leaving everything in the past, but like I said before, you haven’t left anything in the past. It lives in your mind all the time because you literally never <em>let it out</em> of your mind. Not even to exteriorize it by speaking about it.” Ryujin explained way calmer than before and Yeonjun knew that it was her way to make him realize that it wasn’t just petty banters, or something said just to get a reaction from him.</p><p>Everything she was throwing at him were somewhat true, though.</p><p>It was true that Yeonjun had kept it all in for years. At first it was because he was too shocked to even believe it, but then after months of unwillingness to share anything about what had happened, it had occurred to him that he was avoiding talking about it because talking about it made it real. It unlocked all the hurt in full force.</p><p>And to be honest he had barely survived the hurt from not believing it happening <em>while</em> it was happening.</p><p> </p><p>Now it was two years later, and he still needed to still with an array of pillows just to feel a resemblance of how safe he felt back when he used to sleep in the same bed as them.</p><p>When he was able to touch them. To even look at them and see fond gazes looking at him in answer.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, Junnie… Don’t cry.”</p><p>Yeonjun was going to ask him what his sister was talking about when he felt something wet roll down his chin. He hadn’t even realized that he had started tearing up from those simple memories.</p><p>“Oh!” Yuna said as she hastily took the tissue box on the table next to the couch, they were all sitting on. Yeonjun took some to quickly wipe them away and he felt Chaeryeong and Lia snuggle back to him in support. Soon the rest followed, and he was surrounded by a swarm of gentle strokes and warm, reassuring words.</p><p>“<em>See</em>?” Yeonjun sniffled, “That’s why I don’t talk about it. Mere <em>memories</em> make me feel like utter crap for letting it happen to me. Like a pure dumbass for being so naive.”</p><p>The girls rushed to contradict him, letting out a chorus of “Hey!”, “No,” and “Don’t say that!”</p><p>“You couldn’t have known that they’d do that to you, oppa. If anything, <em>they’re</em> the assholes for leaving you in such a poor state.” Yeji affirmed with a passion and everyone agreed with her. Yeonjun still had trouble believing it, though. He couldn’t help but blame himself for all of it.</p><p>“No, I just— From the beginning I should’ve known that this kind of relationship would only lead to problems.” Yeonjun muttered, and Ryujin nudged his knee in protest.</p><p>“No, Jun. You know better than anyone that it can be beautiful. What you guys had, at first, was…” she trailed of unsure of how to finish without upsetting her brother more, “Anyway, the type of relationship that you shared wasn’t the problem in my opinion. It was <em>them</em>.” she concluded with a sneer.</p><p>“That’s right! They clearly weren’t respectful enough towards you, at the end of the day, and that’s all that matter here. No matter what had happened in your relationship prior to the end of it, nothing can excuse what they did to you… We may not know what it is that happened exactly, but we saw the effect it had on you.” Lia said in an aggravated tone. “It was so frustrating to see you like that and not being able to help.”</p><p>“I just— I wanted to deal with it alone.” Yeonjun explained as he looked down almost in shame for making his friends worry the way he did.</p><p>Yeji took his hand from her spot and his right and Yeonjun raised his head to look at her soft and compassionate look. “Well, you’re not alone, oppa. We’re here for you. All of us.”</p><p>Yeonjun blinked at her. He had met Yeji and Yuna way more recently that the two other friends of his sisters. Yeji transferred in their college this school year, just like Yuna got admitted this same year, moving in with Ryujin as her roommate.</p><p>They fit right in the dynamic of their tight trio so that addition, whenever Yeonjun saw his sister and his sister-like friends, wasn’t odd to him. Despite this he wasn’t as close to them as he was with Chaeryeong and Lia, quite obviously.</p><p>“Yes, oppa. You’ve been here for us when we had our own issues. Even when you were dealing with your own stuff and would normally rather stay at home.” Yuna kept going as she held his hand from the other side. Soon the rest for the girls held on his already taken hands as well to show they were here as well.</p><p>He was glad to know that they all showed their support and love the way that only close-ones or family could. He squeezed the holds back in answer and felt himself smile back in gratitude.</p><p>“Thank you, girls.” He said simply and it was enough for the girls to coo and quite literally take his breath away in a big tight group hug.</p><p> </p><p>After calming himself down fully they released each other and Ryujin decided to choose a random Friends episode to allow everyone to air their minds out for a moment.</p><p> </p><p>Yeonjun was even more grateful for that.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>✜ ✜ ✜</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>After the fourth Friends episode, having gracefully <em>pigged out</em> with the takeout food that had gotten here in between episodes and couples of wine glasses, Yeonjun and the girls were just chilling on the couch, casually talking about each other’s lives.</p><p>It was once Yeji finished talking about yet another breakup with one of her flings that Ryujin, from her seat on the cozy chair facing the couch, asked Yeonjun, “Alright Jun, I know we thoroughly talked about it and I respect your choice of not wanting to talk about it for now,” and maybe it was the couple of glasses of wine that had mellowed Yeonjun’s thought process, or the fact that their former arguments about bottling everything up just made more sense, but he almost would’ve cut her to finally settle and actually unload everything.</p><p>“But I <em>have to </em>ask.” She pressed. Everyone in the room stopped their own conversation to look at her as she paused dramatically.</p><p>“Well? What is it?” Yeonjun asked almost playfully, not feeling as tense about the matter as before. The alcohol definitely made it way easier, Yeonjun realized. That’s why he didn’t drink all that much.</p><p>“If you were to see them again, what would you say right now?”</p><p>Oh. “Oh.” Yeonjun thought out loud.</p><p>It’s not like the idea had never crossed his mind. There had been moments, in the midst of particularly lonely nights or long showers, where he could imagine them facing him and Yeonjun always seemed to be so well-worded and able to tell them everything that weighed on his heart in those pictured scenarios. Of course, he knew himself well, and it was be obvious that what he imagined he’d say during his shower thoughts would be far from what he’d actually say.</p><p>Yeonjun settled on, “Honestly, I’d just ask them why.”</p><p>“Why… what?”</p><p>“Just <em>why</em>. Why would they do this to me. Why they’d leave me like this after everything we’ve been through.” He trailed off. It was hard to summarize everything when there was so much to grasp. He was also a little tipsy, making him a little less able to recollect his ideas, “Why would they leave and never contact me again, as well…” He muttered.</p><p>He chuckled bitterly, looking down at his empty glass “I’m saying this as if I’d ever be able to face them again… after all this time, I can’t even imagine this happening.”</p><p>The girls nodded and hummed, Chaeryeong bunching herself closer to him in comfort, “That’s really understandable, oppa.” She said softly.</p><p>Yeji poured him more wine as he sighed for the nth time tonight and Yeonjun smiled gracefully at all the attentive gestures that the girl initiated just to show him support. He wondered why he had never done this before. His mind had been so set on keeping everything hidden, despite the numerous amounts of time his sister had suggested that they spent the night to just talk about it.</p><p>Maybe it was because freshly broken-hearted Yeonjun would have never been able to be so comfortable to talk about the past like he was doing it now, no matter how vague he was being.</p><p>But he now realized that he had always liked the presence of others for a reason. The mere idea of thinking about what happened in presence of others made it all a little easier. Too bad that he had figured it two years later.</p><p>That last thought made him sighed a loud, “Alright, girls… I think I’m ready to talk about it.”</p><p>A silence.</p><p>They shared looks that were mainly mixes of disbelief and worry.</p><p>“Are you sure? We really don’t want to force you Junie.” Ryujin reassured him, the other bobbing their heads yes to confirm her statement. And truly, Yeonjun appreciated the fact that they were willing to never know just for the sake of his own comfort.</p><p>It was the last push he needed to finish his glass of wine and clear his throat. “Yeah, I’m sure.”</p><p>Yuna gasped quietly and suddenly everyone’s stare were set on him, five pair of doe eyes looking at him in dreaded anticipation. That made him a little nervous, but he reigned it down to gather his mind.</p><p> </p><p>“Do you want the short or long version?” Yeonjun asked to give himself some time.</p><p>“Maybe you could give us the short one first and then go into details later.” Yuna suggested softly and the girls nodded in agreement.</p><p>Yeonjun hummed and agreed before exhaling and inhaling one last time. The words were like lodged in his throat, but he tried to swallow the dread of the memories he had spent so long to repress resurfacing.</p><p> </p><p>Eventually, finally, “Well, the short version. Soobin’s parents were intolerant assholes. Beomgyu’s parents were even worse. They all couldn’t accept that their son had boyfriend, even less two…”</p><p> </p><p>He felt his fist tightened around the tail of the wine glass.</p><p> </p><p>“So… they both decided that a three-person relationship was too complicated. That we, Beomgyu, Soobin and I weren’t viable. One of us had to be ejected, so… they ejected me.”</p><p> </p><p>He felt the round eyes stare at him in shock. And quite frankly, their expression were a mere percentage of how he had felt when he had realized that they had left him.</p><p>“Oh, my God, Junnie…” Ryujin said, her hands on her mouth in pure shock. “I’m so…”</p><p>“Yeah…” Yeonjun said bitterly, “I was too.”</p><p>He felt the girls surrounding him hold him tightly in comfort, Yeji was already pouring more wine that he accepted gratefully once again.</p><p> </p><p>After taking a sip of his glass, and as he was about to proceed, he was interrupted by a knock.</p><p>All six heads snapped towards the door that led to the hallway where the front door was.</p><p>For some time, they all were frozen, before Ryujin snapped out of it, “It must me Kai and his friends.” She reminded.</p><p>“Oh.” Yeonjun remembered. Right. They were coming.</p><p>“We can continue another time, oppa,” Lia stroked his arm in comfort, and the rest of the group let out noise of affirmation. Chaeryeong hummed in comfort, “We can do it next week. If you feel like it.” She added in reassurance, making sure to let him know that it was his choice. He found himself agreeing. He knew that he could trust them now.</p><p> </p><p>The loud knock resumed and Yuna huffed as she got up from her seat on the couch. “Freaking Huening Kai and his interruptions at the worst moments.” She muttered on her way and they all couldn’t help but chuckle at her comment.</p><p>As Yuna left the room, Yeji and Ryujin started tidying up the mess on the table that they had left as Lia and Chaeryeong started to quietly fuss over him. Even though he had barely grazed the surface of the story, he already felt exhausted.</p><p>He rested his head on Lia’s shoulder and she cooed at him as she stroked his pink hair in comfort. From his right side he heard Chaeryeong sigh. He then felt her face resting on his own shoulder. “Assholes,” she muttered in a small pout. Yeonjun silently agreed.</p><p>Seconds later, after some noise of the struggling door opening itself, Yuna’s voice filled in the room from the hall.</p><p>“Huening Kai.” Yuna greeted the younger dryly, as usual.</p><p>“Shin Yuna.” A voice answered as dryly, a tone that Kai’s bubbly and cheerful self only seemed to use with Yuna.</p><p>“Even when you’re not there you ruin everything.” Yuna hummed and they heard Kai scoff.</p><p> A pause.</p><p>“Hello.” Yuna greeted with a softer voice, most likely directed to Kai’s friends. One person greeted her back. Yeonjun recognize the voice as Taehyun’s. They had never met but Kai had shown him so many videos of Taehyun doing the most random things that Yeonjun knew it well now.</p><p>Then, silence.</p><p>“Didn’t Kai bring several people?” Lia frowned, speaking out Yeonjun’s exact thoughts.</p><p>“Well,” Yuna cleared her throat after the silence. Yeonjun could hear her discomfort from there, “You guys can come in, it’s straight ahead.”</p><p>Yeonjun shared a look with Lia before shrugging it off. Some people could be rude, he guessed.</p><p>He sat up a little from his position of pure cuddling with his two friends. Chaeryeong pouted at the change of position and Yeonjun was now cooing at her, taking her in his arm briefly and Lia joined him soon playfully to Chaeryeong’s delight.</p><p> </p><p>Kai entered the room and Yeonjun was still smiling at his friends. He saw Taehyun follow him closely behind. Yeonjun unattached himself from the girls to greet them and the other people who were going to enter the living room.</p><p>That’s when his eyes zeroed on two familiar figures.</p><p> </p><p>His breath caught in his throat and he choked at the sight. It was like his heart had stopped and quite honest Yeonjun had forgotten to breathe.</p><p>He felt his eyes widen exponentially just as his body froze, but not without making him drop his glass of wine on the wooden floor.</p><p> </p><p>From his right, he heard Chaeryeong gasp, the rustle from Ryujin’s paper bag that gathered all their trash stop and silence filled the room in an instant.</p><p> </p><p>The two men looked at him with similar expression as everyone else. Astonishment. Disbelief. Confusion.</p><p> </p><p>Kai broke the silence by clearing his throat, “Everyone, that’s my friend Taehyun.” He nudged at said boy who awkwardly muttered a ‘hello’, sensing the tension that filled the room.</p><p>Kai proceeded though, “And those are his friends—”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeonjun hyung?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Soobin and Beomgyu hadn’t changed all that much in the span of two years.</p><p>One might have grown taller. The other one’s hair were colored lighter.</p><p>They still had those look for guilt and anguish that morphed on their faces as soon as their looks had crossed, just like that faithful day two years ago.</p><p>Yeah. Not a lot had changed.</p><p> </p><p>Yeonjun’s heart though? He was beating out of his chest louder than he had ever done before.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Soogyu wasn't very present here but fear not! they're coming!</p><p>I'll update as soon as possible :3</p><p>I'd love to know how you feel about the story so far though babes</p><p>so lil kudos and comments always makes me sooo happy</p><p>twt: <a href="https://twitter.com/sanspoppinstar">@sanspoppinstar</a></p></blockquote></div></div>
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